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The Island Of The Map Makers' Wife
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| State of the 'song |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|08:11 pm] |
Tonight, for Chanukah, I gave my daughter a necklace she'd fallen in love with at a local store; I'd pretended to buy it for someone else, but it was really always fr her. "I see what you did there!" she cried when she saw it. Oh, yes. We speak LOLcat.
It's a brass compass on a chain; I told her "it's so you never lose your way."
It's been a good Chanukah. She got Wyrding Studios jewelry, too, and video games, and seasons of her new favorite shows on DVD. I got gluten-free cookbooks and poetry and the cutest red Mary Janes. Adam hit the board game motherlode.
Tomorrow, we fly to Florida; we'll spend a few days with my parents, then go up to my birthfamily and have Christmas. I will have my last lasagna, my last pastitsio, my last butter cookies, my last baklava.
I will have a break, which I need, because this pace has been wrecking me and wracking me and I have not been okay. One of the cats got hooked into my sweater today and it launched me into a half-hour crying jag - which was, of course, not about the cat or the sweater at all. It was about being severely overclocked, and not having any reduction in my around-the-house duties now that I'm working (six hours of work for me, on gluten, with this fatigue and this pain, are like 12-18 for you). It was about just plain not having time to do something I'd wanted to do for a loved one - because these days have been so tightly packed that the shift of a tiny thing like the checkbook not being balanced on time can cause three days of cascading snowballing failure. I should be at my BARCC friend's play tonight, but it was that or pay bills, and the consequences of defaulting on the credit cards are greater than the consequences of not going out. I still have so, so much left to do tonight.
It will not always be like this. Within a week of cutting gluten, I'll have energy again, and within two weeks I will hurt less. My pain today is worse than it's been in months - most likely the fault of the weather as well as the gluten, below zero with the considerable wind chill, full-body clench.
It's 70 degrees in Florida.
My biopsy is the 29th. So I'll get to begin the new year as I intend to continue.
I'm going a bit spare about the crushing load of everything I must do - but the job itself, it must be noted, is great and I love it, and my co-workers are awesome, and I am learning things (today: all about national gangs with chapters in MA), and I have a good solid grasp of what I need to be doing and a large and finite project that'll kick into gear when I get back - I'm at my best with large and finite. Even the boss at Coca-Cola U who hated me had to admit that I kick ass at that sort of thing. So again, starting as I mean to go on. Kicking ass. Taking names.
Tomorrow I work three hours, hop a train to the airport, and go and not have any packed-full crazy days. Just three more work-hours glutened, and four more when I get back. It can be done. |
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| Knitting for the Holidays |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|02:48 pm] |
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As I work on Christmas presents, estimating how fast I knit versus how much time til the holiday, something occurs to me.
If someone knits you something, for Christmas, for a birthday, for any holiday, know that it is not a cheap, easy gift. It is not thoughtless, even if you don't particularly like the color. It is far easier to buy something. It costs far less, in time and money. A hat is what, $10? Yarn and needles cost easily that much, and don't require any extra work.
A knitting gift is a full day, at minimum, and usually more, sitting quietly and working on something to please you, thinking of you and wishing you well.
It is pure and uncut love, knotted up and tied off. |
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| The latest episode of Conversations with Inanimate Objects |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|01:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Freezing," Miranda Sex Garden | ] |
Bank Temperature Display: 12°
Me: Twelve degrees?! Are you freaking kidding me?
Bank Temperature Display: *obligingly flips to 13°*
Me: Oh, gee, thanks. Thirteen is soooo much better.
Bank Temperature Display: *flips back to 12°*
Me: NOW YOU'RE JUST TAUNTING ME. |
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| Thor's Day |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|07:04 am] |
Administration
Happy birthday to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) jetshade!
Medical
Lots of bitter exhaustion and crashing. I have to keep reminding myself that a) I am fully glutened and therefore and at 1/3 energy, and the energy will come back, and b) I'm running around like crazy after work, too.
So either one of those things would be a horrible body-crushing thing, on top of four hours of work + two hours and walking a few miles of commute.
And the fact that I am in physical hell over this is not an indicator that I cannot do the job, cannot sustain this. It's that I can't do the job + every damn other thing while I am having massive gluten fatigue. That's a big difference.
I only must drag my ass through three more workdays like this.
Family in Need
My friend's co-worker wasn't in the office yesterday; she left a message for her. Will let you know soon as I know.
On the Off Chance
Is anyone not working tomorrow? I need to get to the airport around noon, noon-thirty, and the thought of taking the T makes me nervous just because I don't trust the Silver Lie to run on time, and I have limited time. This would be just for me; Adam and Elayna are leaving from home, I'm leaving from work, which is in Central Square.
Link Soup, Daily Science Edition
* Some black holes may actually be 'quark stars'.
* EVIDENCE for the Higgs boson could be pouring down upon us from deep space. If so, an orbiting space telescope could upstage the Large Hadron Collider in the search for the elusive particle.
* Synthetic red blood cells.
* Hidden sensory system discovered in skin.
* Astronomers announced today that they have discovered a "super-Earth" orbiting a red dwarf star 40 light-years from Earth. They found the distant planet with a small fleet of ground-based telescopes no larger than those many amateur astronomers have in their backyards. Although the super-Earth is too hot to sustain life, the discovery shows that current, ground-based technologies are capable of finding almost-Earth-sized planets in warm, life-friendly orbits.
Plans
Work. Adam finally balanced the checkbook, so I must pay bills before we leave. Must also order Dad's gift. And pack for our trip. Including figuring out what backpack to use; the laptop backpack won't survive the trip, but my other backpacks are less structured, so I must find the most structured backpack. Must load stuff onto Kindle and hope it doesn't randomly dump its battery charge like it's been doing. (Send me your manuscripts; I'll read 'em if the Kindle actually works!) Must get Elayna started packing. Must remember to pack meds, and call in anything I'm low on. Must clean the entire downstairs. I must, I must, I must. Before 6:30, because I also must get to my friend's play. And I have zero time tomorrow morning.
Three more gluten workdays. Just three more. |
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| Preliminary Arisia Schedule |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|10:46 pm] |
Subject to change, but probably not much... already took myself off the one panel I wasn't as gung-ho about.
Friday
7:00pm: Trauma as Character Development
Saturday
Noon: Sexual Politics in Fandom
2:30pm: Reading - Shira Lipkin
4:00pm: Interstitial Fiction: Dancing Between Genres
5:00pm: Take Back the Sci-Fi
Sunday
6:00pm: Kick-Ass Moms
Monday
11:00am: Connection and Collaboration
Saturday will be a bit of a crazy day; the s00j concert is at 3, so I'll be busy from 2:30-6:00. Every other day is nice and relaxing, though. |
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| My day |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|03:14 pm] |
A friend asked (in a locked post) what her readers do, what their days are like. My answer:
I fight crime. Then I come home and write stories.
Occasionally, I'll go back out again, or straight from work, and fight crime a little more.
So my day is the mad dash about the house getting everyone going, walk to the bus stop, walk from Harvard Square to Central - I could take the train the one stop, but my body is happier when I walk it, and so is my wallet, and I get more iPod time.
At BARCC, I manage all of the prospective and in-training volunteers, interns, and a whole bunch of community outreach/education stuff, as well as a lot of random unrelated things that have accrued under that position. I work a half-day, then slog home, where if I'm not too tired (I'm dealing with massive gluten fatigue; my biopsy is in two weeks), I get to write.
My daughter gets home at 3. So we get some hanging-out time before I make her start focusing on her homework. Then I get stuff done around the house, or nap, or read, or knit, til Adam gets home; then dinner and usually a few episodes of whatever show we're introducing Elayna to. (Pop culture is important here.)
Nighttime is sometimes for dates, sometimes for family cocooning, sometimes for group social stuff, sometimes for BARCC volunteer gigs.
Irregular, replacing any of the above: BARCC public education volunteer gigs. Here's a PDF of the workshops we do. Also I do survivor speeches and staff a table at fairs and community events, and help run the Clothesline Project. In the new year, we'll be starting a BARCC blog, too.
So. That. And then finally I take my nighttime meds and curl up in bed with Adam, a book, and one or more cats. And then I sleep.
You? |
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| Odin's Day |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|07:08 am] |
Medical
Got a a nice nap yesterday afternoon, which really did help tremendously.
Just two more weeks of glutening, and then I go off for good.
Job
Am still liking it. :) But they are allowing me too much time to acclimate to the first part of the job description without moving to the next; yesterday I came up with ideas for a new volunteer project to run and a new revenue stream. I cannot be left to my own devices for five minutes without giving myself more to do! That's okay. Meeting with primary boss this morning and will be saying, "I am really really ready to learn more about X, Y, and Z!" and there's a whole big chunk of the new job I need to get info from my secondary bosses about; that'll happen Friday. Already on the schedule. And I have a very large project soon as I get back from vacation and biopsy. Which I love.
Got my first paycheck yesterday, and totally forgot to deposit it because I am unaccustomed to paychecks. Must do that today!
Computers
Got $300 from the parents towards a new laptop, so I have to raise about $600 more. Depending how aggressive the whirring/grinding sound gets, y'all may get a WTD out of this.
On the bright side, free netbook! djhath saw my $WINTERHOLIDAY wishlist and granted that particular wish. Awesome! So I have a wee mini computer to bring to Florida, and won't need to test the limits of my laptop backpack; it'll fit neatly in my regular backpack, which is not falling apart.
Boston Family Needs Help!
I'll be nudging my colleague today for more info and a donation location. Thanks, guys!
Tomorrow Night
Reading of a new Boston musical, "It's Working", written by a colleague! Central Square YMCA! Free! Your last chance to see me before the new year! Come on out!
Link Soup
* Love these Starbucks signs!
* Follow Time-Lost Batman on Twitter.
* Make 2010 a happier year!
Daily Science
Knitted science 101.
Plans
Today's the first day I'll really just get to come straight home from work. Which is great, because I have to pack! Reminder to self - also want to review some more of the BPAL Yules.
And nap again.
And tonight is Elayna's school band's winter concert, yay. :) |
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| Like riding the Tilt-a-Whirl, without the bad heavy metal being piped in |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|11:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  head-spinny | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "i carry your heart in my heart," Michael Hedges | ] |
For the first time in a while, the dizzy spells decided to show up again. Ohh, joyous flippin' Yuletide. If I knew they were coming I'd have baked a cake, and thrown it at them.
I've decided that I have a three-tier dizzy spell system (or four, if you could "no dizzy spell" as a tier). Tier One, on the low end of the scale, is more lightheadedness than anything else, usually triggered by middling stress, insufficient sleep or a fun combination of the two. These I deal with semi-regularly. At the top end, at Tier Three, are the killer, debilitating, please-do-not-operate-heavy-machinery-for-the-love-of-Hannah variety, the ones that feel like the aftermath of a centrifuge rodeo, the ones where the walls literally look like they're zipping by from side to side even though I'm more or less standing still. These are mercifully rare; on the unfortunate occasions when I get them, my only recourse is to lie flat on my back with a rag over my eyes and impersonate furniture for an hour or two. (I had one kick in while I was driving once. Now that's an enviable adventure, Skippy, lemme tell ya.)
And in between the two extreme lies Tier Two: dizzy spells that aren't paralyzing, but which materially affect my ability to function and/or walk in a straight line. That was the one that hit this morning, just before I left to pick up rafaela. I got there okay, no danger there, but ye gods, I wanted nothing more than to break out the ol' blanket-and-couch-cushion fort and crawl in there for a fortnight or so. Unfortunately, my employers are less than understanding about some things, rotten sadistic philistines that they are. (To add insult to injury, the break room vending machine was out of Pepsi. Feh.) I'm down to Tier One at this point, and I'm there for the usual reasons, so it's situation tolerable at the moment. Plans for a good night's sleep are afoot.
Oh, and I've got a big zit in my ear canal. The party never ends.
EDIT: Upgrade that back up to Tier Two, actually. Feh. |
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| Urgent help needed! |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|06:41 pm] |
A friend and BARCC colleague just sent me the following:
Co-worker's apt burned down; mother of 5 kids. Total loss & no renters insurance. Kids have no clothes: 4 girls, 1 boy. Boy is 2 & takes 2-3t. Girls range from 9mo-9yrs. Contact me if you're able to donate clothes!
Comment here and I'll help coordinate. Thanks for any help you can provide! I'll update as I get more info. |
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| A Peek Into the Writerly Soul of Me |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|06:02 pm] |
I'm starting in on the first volume of the Prester John series today. Does that mean the deadline makes me want to cry and huddle in a corner? Yes. But I had to take time off to avoid spontaneous combustion.
Of course, here, today, in the beginning of it, I feel like I'm not big enough for this story, for the vastness of it, that I'll inevitably fuck up how beautiful it is in my head right now. I got so used to the idea that no one would ever publish this book, and now it's suddenly a real live creature. And I have no justbeast to brainstorm with. So I'm fairly miserable and feeling small and overwhelmed. But I'll get through it. It'll somehow happen. I have to have faith that it will--and that faith lasts only so long, which is why I do these marathons. Because I can only believe in myself for so long, like the King of All Cosmos.
Way back when I took 50 pages of this beast to Rio Hondo, Maureen McHugh, one of my personal heroes, said in her critique, discussing how to proceed with the rest of the book: use every trick. Meaning, every clever literary trick, anything, to get this story out, to make it understood to an audience who has never heard of Prester John. That idea was tremendously exciting to me. So now I'm thinking...what are my favorite tricks?
What are yours? What in the postmodern toolbox thrills and tweaks you? What are your least favorite? |
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| Oi, Bostonians! |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|03:26 pm] |
BARCC has a new section of its website, and they need your help testing it - specifically, they need a survivor and the survivor's significant other.
If you're a local survivor with an SO are are willing to come to our Cambridge or Boston office for a half-hour website test, let me know, and I'll put you in touch with the person handling this. Totally painless. Adam and I have already done it.
Drop me an e-mail - shadesong AT gmail.com.
Thanks! |
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| LJ Advisory Update inre GENDER |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|10:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
Hey folks,
Yesterday I got an email from a user saying there was a rumor that LJ was intending to make specifying gender on one's profile mandatory. Obviously there are various reasons why people either might not want that information known, or don't fit into one of the two categories commonly seen in such questions.
I wrote to LJ immediately asking about the rumor and advising that this wasn't a good idea without user input.
This morning I heard back with the Official Word and I'd be happy if you'd repost this or link to it to spread the news:
1) There are NO plans to make users specify gender in their profiles. The current options are "male/female/unspecified", this will remain.
2) The rumor started because on the current LJ BETA version (being tested now by some users) a programming error made the field mandatory, the same programming also broke profile editing. Users reported the bug to LJ and they are fixing the code along with other bugs people are discovering.
3) There will be a note with more details from the Customer Care team in the future.
4) That's all.
Thanks to everyone who emailed to let me know about this. If there are other questions or comments, please feel free to add them here and I'll pass everything along. I'm still working with LJ on the big status report but they're busy with the final software rollout for 2009, we'll have a meeting after that.
Your LJ user rep,
Kyle |
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| Tew's Day! |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|07:30 am] |
Administration
Happy birthday to beetiger!
Medical
Ugh.
Seriously, ugh.
Was dragging all yesterday. Am rescheduling all of my after-work-today stuff so I can just come home and rest.
Arisia Schedule!
is up! If you're a panelist, take a look. If you have any questions about lit track, let me know.
I expect to spend a chunk of today reviewing the sessions that I didn't schedule and making sure they have the panelists they ought to - guess we had more room? Which does not suck! But I want to make sure those are solid panels. Also, a few of the panels have had some shuffling of participants, and there are a few that I'm not okay with, so I'll suss that out later. (Yes, I really want the IAF board member on the interstitial fiction panel, not the person who does not write interstitial fiction, please do not switch those around.)
LiveJournal and Gender
LJ was going to require you to choose and display your gender. But it looks like that is not going to happen after all.
Must Run.
But will hopefully be on later. After I go through the Arisia schedule with a fine-toothed comb to see what other madness has transpired. If you see something that makes you go "um", do let me know.
Bye for now! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 14th, 2009|09:51 pm] |
We're decorating the tree and lookie what I just found. 
Roswell knows what this is. She is very afraid. Posted from mah iPhone. Posted via LiveJournal.app. |
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| sweet barking cheese!!! |
[Dec. 14th, 2009|10:07 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | roswell snoring | ] |
This week we'll be going over the entries in the write a story, win an autographed copy of Cherie Priest's Boneshaker novel contest. There are many awesome entries. I ought to put together a .pdf of all of them that people can download, print out, and read on the subway.
While no winner has yet been chosen, I wanted to point out the FREAKING AWESOME ILLUSTRATION OF STEAMPUNKROSWELL that mcmatz did:
sweet barking cheese. Friend this woman. Seriously. How could this awesome have escaped me for so long? I think there will have to be a special prize for this, it was so unexpectedly awesome.
(and if anybody else wants to do steampunk roswell illustrations, I will indeed put together a .pdf of all the stories for people to download and read on the train, and I'll give out other special prizes which will likely consist of a photographic print of something.)
rock on with your bad selves
Add me as a friend on LiveJournal, Add me on Facebook, Follow me on Twitter. |
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| Monday |
[Dec. 14th, 2009|07:21 am] |
Administration
Happy birthday to dear blackpaladin and cislyn!
Hello to new readers djhath, sidepocket_pro, snakey, and technomage!
Medical
Ugh. Out of Lunesta, and it's on "doctor must authorize refills". So I slept for maybe 3 hours last night, in maybe half-hour chunks, and I feel freakin' awful today. Which sucks because this is another 6am-10pm day. (Thankfully the only one this week.)
Shayara
The other thing that was keeping me awake? Bits of Jessa's story started clicking like whoa. Wish I could bring my laptop today. Nyargh. There is Wednesday.
Also I know what song it'll take its title from. But I'm not sure what lyric yet.
Link Soup
* Oh hai knitters! This is immensely practical!
* Monsanto = evil. a) Paolo Bacigalupi has been warning you about this; b) eat real food.
* Give Kate a word. Get a button.
* Maps of zombie outbreaks throughout history.
Daily Science
The pitch of blue whale songs is declining.
Plans
Work ---> lunch with volunteer coordinator ---> coffee with hari_mirchi (bringing BPAL and WTD!) ---> meeting up with Adam and bringing him to BARCC's office to test a new part of the website (they want testing by survivors and their SOs) ---> profit killing two hours or so (I am bringing knitting and a book, but again, argh, wish I could bring the laptop; my laptop backpack is one or two trips away from falling apart entirely, and I need it to stay together for the plane on Friday) ---> BARCC peer supervision meeting + potluck (I am bringing chili).
And now I must run. |
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| ...what the...?! |
[Dec. 13th, 2009|08:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | my heart will gooo onnnnn.... | ] |
I really don't do my own reputation any favors. See, after years of introducing friends and loved ones to such joys as The Shaggs and The Legendary Stardust Cowboy, some of those close to me have developed the (not entirely unwarranted) belief that any music I recommend will necessarily display eardrum-bleeding levels of unadulterated awfulness. So I made the conscious decision a while back to limit the amount of wilfully bad music I inflict on those around me, in favor of the actually good music that comprises 97% of my collection.
The problem is that sometimes, just sometimes, something comes along that I simply cannot in good conscience keep to myself.
Folks, meet Wing.
I know I'm a bit behind the curve on this one (South Park already managed to finagle a guest appearance from her a while back), but when rafaela—and yes, you can blame her—insisted I seek her out, my jaw landed somewhere around my knees. If any of you were despairing at the loss of Mrs. Miller, I can assure you that she's somehow found her way to New Zealand, by way of Hong Kong. Please, I beg of you, check out her samples page. Heck, just read the album titles, and then try to carry on knowing that after making her reputation on interpretations of the works of Andrew Lloyd Webber and the Carpenters, she decided to put out an album of AC/DC covers—and then did another one. I am charmed beyond words.
And yes, she has a Christmas album. You're welcome. |
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| I know this is going to make my brain twitch, but it's necessary. |
[Dec. 13th, 2009|11:30 am] |
So we're running the "Take Back the Sci-Fi" panel that we ran at Wiscon, at Arisia.
This time? I'm moderating, and the other panelists include two state-certified crisis counselors from NY and asim, so I know this version will run smoothly.
So here's the list that I generated for (and added to at) Wiscon.
What else should be on that list? I've just requested Anne Bishop's Black Jewels trilogy via inter-library loan. What else should I be reading, or at least be aware of?
Two that I'll definitely be adding:
* Handled very well, IMO: "The Mermaids Singing Each to Each", by Cat Rambo.
* Handled very poorly, IMO: "Spar", by Kij Johnson.
I tend to focus more on novels, because more people have read them, but I found the contrast between those two stories striking - not least because they were published in back-to-back issues of Clarkesworld.
So. What've you got? |
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| Blogging is not a substitute for therapy, but another reason for it |
[Dec. 13th, 2009|09:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Hippy Chick," Soho (earworm since I woke up this morning; dunno why) | ] |
I usually don't post the results of little name-memes like this on the rare occasion when I indulge, because usually the results are kind of mediocre unless I'mm willing to pound the "refresh" button for a while. This one, however, showed up on the first shot:
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the slipjig last night. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
from the Christmas Song Generator.
Dear gods, I didn't think it was possible for that song to get any pervier. |
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